As we near the big day, I'm starting to think about how it's going to pan out. And the one thing that keeps playing on my mind is the lack of control I have over my emotions.
I cry at everything, and I mean everything! Whether I'm happy, sad, angry or just tired, when someone's horrible to be and when someone's nice to me - for all of those reasons, and more, the way I show my emotions is with a waterfall of tears pouring down my face. And I'm not even exagerating this time. Anyone who knows me knows I cry all the time. My Mum and my Dads Mum are both the same - so really I had no chance!
Now of course, there's no problem with crying on your wedding day, it's an emotional day it's bound to happen. But I'm not talking a few droplets of hollywood tears, this is a full blown, blotchy face, make up streaking, blubberthon! Everytime I think about it - getting ready with my Mum in the morning, putting on my beautiful dress, the shoes, the journey to the ceremony, seeing my H2B waiting for me to arrive, walking down the stairs arm in arm with my Dad, thinking about how much I wish my Grandad had stayed with us a few more months so he could be there, seeing my Nans and all the friends and family who have made so much effort to be there for us, the thought of starting our lives together as husband and wife, and everything else that comes with a wedding day - I cry.
Quite obviously, I don't want to be a blubbering wreck on my wedding day. But the only way I can stop myself from crying is if I don't think about any of it. Blank it all out and think about something else completely. Non-related, non-emotional thoughts like, 'I wonder what the weather will be like tomorrow', 'I wonder what the weather's like at home', 'I wonder what they're all talking about on Twitter', 'Jeez I hope I don't fall down the stairs', 'Oooh that's a pretty flower', and so on. But then I'll just be a zombie bride, going through the motions to get me through what should be moments that I cherish and remembered for the rest of my life. So I don't want to do that.
One thing I've already decided is that my entrance music has to be up beat. If I hear a soppy song as I start the walk down the stairs, that's it, I'm going to be off. I'll be trying to stop myself, but that will just make things worse, and what if I end up spluttering and snotty as I arrive to greet my H2B? OMG! So, I will choose something more upbeat and fun for the entrance. I have a few ideas - but I'll share them after the wedding!
I'm also going to be telling Mum and Dad not to say anything nice to me before we leave. We can have 'the moments' after the wedding, when I haven't got my make up on and there's no risk of foundation smudging on my Suzanne Neville!
Of course, I would like to point out that these would be tears of joy!
I want to laugh and enjoy the moment. But even when I laugh I know the emotions will get the better of me and then I'll be laughing and crying at the same time - resembling a crazy, hyena type woman!
I'm not really sure what I'm going to do. I was going through some brooches at the weekend to add to my bouquet. I wanted to include my Grandad's badge of honour from his fireman days and some more brooches from my Great Grandparents. All the memories from the beautiful jewellery left me a jibbering wreck, once again! This part is especially hard and emotional as Grandad only died last month and it was so sudden, we never imagined that he wouldn't be there. And he was so looking forward to it all. Although it's going to be a happy day for so many reasons, it's also going to be very sad that he won't be there to celebrate and dance with us. So let's just hope no one asks about my bouquet on the day. I think I'll just have to add a little tag to it and hold it up when someone asks. That way I don't have to talk about it. haha!
If anyone has any ideas about controlling emotions, please do let me know. I'm willing to try anything to get me through the day. And if anyone knows of any other wonder products that keep your make up waterproof, please also let me know. I'm trying all sorts in the lead up. I'm considering dipping my head in varnish at the moment! :) xx
Oh hun I was worrying about the exact same thing!! I cried a little, actually a lot on the morning of the wedding but when I actually walked down the aisle I was too busy trying to remember to breathe!
ReplyDeleteHonestly I have no pearls of wisdom to help you control your emotions because I'm not sure anything will help!
All I can say is if you need to cry in the morning or the days before hand - cry! Maybe you'll use up your tears before the day?! Plus you don't want to hold it all back for your big entrance.
I asked my husband to have a few tissues in his pocket in case I needed them by the time I got to him and remember water proof mascara is your best friend xxx
I'm the same! My dad has been told not to say anything nice to me on the morning of the wedding, as a compliment from him is sure to have me sobbing like a 3 year old. I'm trying to listen to my wedding music and read my vows as much as possible to desensitise myself a bit!
ReplyDeletexxx
Thank you girls!
ReplyDeleteListening to the music is a great idea! I'm definitely going to do that. And I'll practice saying the words too. Love that idea.
You guys are the best. xx
That was like reading me there! I am really worried about the whole emotional side of things and as littlewife has already suggested I have been listening to my walking in music and music that we are having played in memory of my gran to try and get used to it and hopefully keep the emotions in check.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure what else we can do, hopefully we will all be fine....remember the photos! lol
C xx
so glad to read this post!!! i tear up even thinking about the wedding, and i am an UGLY crier, hahaa!!! love the advice in the comments and will let you know if it works :)
ReplyDeletexx
Erm, hello, this is the girl who simultaneously cried and laughed all the way up the aisle and as a consequence looked like she was gurning her way to the altar. There's video evidence as well...
ReplyDeleteI was worried about it happening and it did, hence I'm not one to give advice. However, what did help was my Dad laughing in my face whenever I was about to start crying. I'm not necessarily recommending this, but if by any chance you can manage to at least smile, if not laugh, when you feel like crying then that might help.
Oh! And as well as listening to the music, make sure you rehearse your vows, with your boyf. We never did and I hadn't counted on what an enormous, poignant moment it would be to say those words and to hear them said to me, so it'd be good to desensitise yourself beforehand!
Good luck and DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. If it happens, it happens. It'll just be one little memory of your whole day. ENJOY! Xx
Thanks girls! Cloggins - I totally forgot about your tears. Well, my worry is over - as long as I look as fab as you!
ReplyDeleteEmma - when's your day? Let me know how you get on. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you huni. xx
Waterproof Mascara and cool cucumbers! :)
ReplyDelete